Comedy has a rule of three, and so do celebrities. If three famous people (or couples) do something, it’s officially a trend. And the latest “celebs are it again” trend is not bathing.
First it was Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher saying that they only bathe their kids when “you can see the dirt on them.” Then Kristen Bell admitted that she’s a “big fan of waiting for the stink. Once you catch a whiff, that’s biology’s way of letting you know you need to clean it up.” Jake Gyllenhaal has completed the trifecta with his anti-taking-a-bath take.
When asked by Vanity Fair if there’s anything “revelatory” about his bathing rituals, the Nightcrawler star replied, “I always am baffled that loofahs come from nature. They feel like they’ve been made in a factory but, in fact, it’s just not true. Since I was young, it’s amazed me. More and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times. I do believe, because Elvis Costello is wonderful, that good manners and bad breath get you nowhere. So I do that. But I do also think that there’s a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves.”
It would be one thing if Gyllenhaal said he doesn’t take a daily bath or shower because he wants to conserve water. I understand that. But his cat-grooming-itself logic of “a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance” is curious. I’m not saying it’s time to put Jake in a bubble again, but I’m also not NOT saying it.
Between his peculiar grooming habits, and Taylor Swift confirming that the 10-minute version of “All Too Well” (a song written about Jake) will be on Red (Taylor’s Version), it’s been a rough day for Gyllenhaal. I’d say he should hit the showers, but… you know.
What’s all these actors got against bathing
— مريم 🍓🇵🇸 (@watermeIanchoIy) August 6, 2021
This is why Taylor Swift broke up with him 😭
— ᴄᴀɪᴛʟʏɴ 🎞 (@vntagecait) August 6, 2021
what is it with celebrities suddenly coming out as anti showers lmao
— Carlos⩔ (@eternalswilson) August 6, 2021
Taylor announced All Too Well and he lost it already 💀
— 𝘔𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘧𝘢🧣 (@cowstring2) August 6, 2021
“I believe that good manners and bad breath get you nowhere. So I do that.”
what the hell does this mean
— bio-digital vibes, man (@lunarkid91) August 6, 2021